How to Enjoy Life's Special Pleasures
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Yes, indeed -- life is short. But it is never too late to fully realize how precious our time on Earth really is.
Joni Rodgers learned this the hard way. In 1994, the then-32-year-old drama teacher and mother of two
children, ages five and seven, was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, the immune-system cancer.
For six months, Rodgers underwent a grueling course of chemotherapy treatments, along with naturopathic
methods -- but she never lost her capacity for humor, compassion and insight.
Rodgers, now 41, has been in remission for seven years. Here she shares the lessons of her harrowing
journey -- and tells what we all can do to live fuller and more joyous lives...
EMBRACE WHAT YOU HAVE
Before I had cancer, I was a perfectionist. I missed out on lots of fun because of my too-high expectations
about the way things should be regarding my marriage, children and career.
Example: My husband, Gary, is an airplane mechanic who works the night shift. For a long time, I really hated
his absences from home. After I had cancer, I realized how little this matters. I learned to appreciate the time
we spend together on weekends and in the mornings rather than resent the time he is away.
Now I'm unsympathetic when people moan about not having enough money or being in a bad marriage. If
you're not happy, do something about it -- or learn to appreciate what you have.
You sometimes will hear that someone "lost the battle" with cancer. To me, if they embraced happiness, they
won, whether they lived to 32 or 92.
ENJOY YOUR PLEASURES
You are not wasting time when you watch TV, sleep late or otherwise do nothing. Wasting time is when you
are not loving someone or not enjoying your life. I have discovered how to take pleasure in the simplest
things. Even when I am sitting quietly or taking a long drive, there is always something interesting to look at or
think about.
LOVE WHO YOU ARE
Like many women, I always wished I was thinner.
If I could go back, I wouldn't obsess about something so trivial. The tragic irony is that I lost 40 pounds during
my cancer treatments -- and wished every one of those pounds back. Now I treat my body well. I exercise and
eat right -- not to lose weight, but to stay healthy.
FIND FORGIVENESS
We waste a lot of time and energy harboring grudges.
My breakthrough: A few years ago, I ran into the doctor who had first misdiagnosed my cancer as
premenstrual syndrome. When I saw him, I was consumed with hatred. Then I realized that just getting angry
was not going to change anything. So I wrote him a letter explaining how I felt. I never heard back from him,
but writing the letter allowed me to let go of the anger.
FOCUS ON INTENTIONS... NOT WORDS
When someone has cancer, people often make inappropriate statements, such as, "We could all die
tomorrow" or "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." At first, such comments annoyed me. Then I
realized that these people were struggling to say the right things but didn't know how.
When someone says something that annoys you, give him/her the benefit of the doubt. Look past the words
to find the loving intent.
SEE THE HUMOR
Cancer isn't funny -- but there are some funny moments. Gary and I tried to see the humor whenever possible.
Example: I always had a good laugh when Gary would come up behind me, move his hands over my bald
head and say, "Look deep into the crystal ball. I see dinner at the Chinese buffet, followed by a long and
healthy life."
Laughter relieves stress and gives us strength to face the challenges ahead.
TAKE COMFORT IN PRAYER
Many people think they don't know how to pray. Just think of God as a great river that runs through the
universe. The idea of prayer is not to pull God out of the stream but to put yourself into the stream with God.
